so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
