It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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