I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
zippers are such a cool invention
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
