there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
