wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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