Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
