I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
