Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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