Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
