I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
