I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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