margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
