I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
