Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
