If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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