That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
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You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
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She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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