good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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