Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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