At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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