i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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