Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
