based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize