yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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