Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
