Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize