Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
