she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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