Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize