sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
