cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Four minutes until I can fart!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
