my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
