but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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