ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Life is so much better after having sex.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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