Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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