How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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