note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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