I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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