Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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