Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We need to rekindle our bromance
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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