when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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