when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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