We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
