You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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