We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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