I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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