I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize