I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
