I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
