um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
