That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
