Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize