Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
