Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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