If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
When are your genitals available?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
