what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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