watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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