I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
