I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
handjob tips. give me some.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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