Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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