I cannot find my penis.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
