My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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