it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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