Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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