You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
only you would photoshop your dick
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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