So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize