That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
