At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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