get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
